Everyone's Falling in Love
by Snafdragon
Summary: FINISHED! Everyone he meets seems to be high on love and poor, single Rune can't take it. What's going on? Is everyone really after him? Humour and fluff.
1. Chapter 1

While I'm waiting for some questions on my other story, I decided to write this one. 

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Rune sighed as he walked through the gardens. It had been a long day and he was feeling low. Despite his long hair, his elfin features, his sweet manner and ability to lift rocks twice his own weight, he didn't have a girlfriend.

"Why am I alone?" he wailed, but quietly, in case someone heard and thought that he was a loser.

He moped among the flowers and he glowered at the trees, he tossed stones into the pond and sulked on the garden bench. It was when he was pulling clumps out of the grass by the gazebo that he overheard someone else.

"What if she doesn't like me? What will I do?" the stranger asked.

Rune creeped closer, but kept himself hidden.

"Maybe I shouldn't tell her and keep it a secret," the same voice said.

Rune frowned. No one had replied, from what he could tell.

"Should I tell her or not?" the hidden voice cried.

Rune stood up and peered over the bushes. What he saw shocked him: Rath, sitting on the long grass, avidly shaking a Magic 8 Ball, over and over and crying each time it came up "Answer unclear - try again later".

Rune backed away and moved to another area of the gardens, mulling over what he'd seen. He found Thatz enjoying the shade of a tree. The thief waved to him and Rune walked over to him.

"Just the person I wanted to see, Rune," said Thatz with a smile. "I'm writing a letter and I need a bit of help."

Rune smiled and sat beside his friend.

"You're kind of wet, so you should know what sounds better 'The fall of morning's dew is unending, like my love for you' or 'The fairest days of spring cannot compare to your beauty'?"

Rune stuttered for a while before blurting out "They're both good."

Thatz smirked and wrote with a flourish on a fragranced piece of paper.

"Wonderful," he said. "Now, would you prefer to be compared to a stinking pile o' loot, or a bounteous trove of treasure?"

Though he tried to escape, Rune was forced to comment on edit on Thatz's masterpiece, although he never found out who the letter was destined for. When Thatz was ready, he sealed the letter in a scented envelope and said goodbye, leaving Rune under the leafy tree.

Rune sat there until a shadow fell across his face. Looking up, he saw Tetheus.

"It's a little chilly out today," he said sternly. "I think that I'll go and put on a jacket."

He turned to leave, but spun back to catch Rune staring at him, mouth wide open.

"I...," he started. "I think that perhaps you should too." Then a pink haze spread across his face and he turned away and walked slowly off. Rune leaned out from under the tree in time to catch a skip or two, before Tetheus coughed and returned to his usual gait.

"I think that I need to lie down." Rune timidly sneaked out from under the tree, hoping to make it back to his room without being seen, but he disturbed Ruwalk before he even made it to the castle. The Dragon Officer was carrying a warm blanket, which almost covered the basket with strawberries, two bottles of wine, some whipped cream and what looked like the Best of Barry White.

Ruwalk blushed and sidled away, while Rune ran for the safety of the castle.

He was barely in the door when he found himself bumping into someone and ending up on the floor, with his face buried in cleavage. He pulled out to whimper "I'm so sorry, it was an accident", when he realised that he'd knocked down Cernozura in a revealing dress. She looked strangely at him, lying seductively on the ground, while Rune jumped to his feet and brushed himself off. 

"Are you all right, Rune?" she asked. "You look a little flushed!"

"I'm fine!" he yelped, as his face turned the colour of Ruwalk's strawberries. Let me help you up!"

He extended a hand and used his other one to cover his eyes. Cernozura laughed and he felt a heavy weight on his hand and then she let go again. 

"I'm up now, you can look," she purred. 

Rune bowed, turned and sped off, only removing his hand when he'd toppled over three separate suits of armour.

"Aieee," he yelled, adding to word count. "Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

He started to calm down as he approached his bedroom. 

"I'll be able to rest in a moment. Soon, it'll all be good. Everything will seem normal after a cat nap. I'm just tired - that's it!" he muttered. 

He turned the corner and froze. Carefully turning the knob of Rune's own bedroom door and sliding into his sanctuary like a cat burglar was the Dragonlord, naked, except for a thong.

"What is going on?" wondered Rune.

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What is going on? Review and maybe I'll tell ya! 


	2. Chapter 2

I just realised that anonymous reviews were disallowed and I've fixed that. Thanks Born of Avalon and alpha2nd2003. Here's the next chapter as requested.

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Rune stared at the door which a practically naked Dragonlord had just walked through and into Rune's bedroom.

"The Dragonlord?" he mumbled. "He's in my room. And he's naked." Rune shook slowly, the colour draining from his face. "I need to go lie down."

With his hand on the doorknob he snapped back to his senses.

"The Dragonlord's in there!"

He jerked back as if scalded.

"I hope he didn't hear me."

After an uncomfortable moment's fidgeting, Rune placed his ear to the door and listened. He heard nothing at first, then what sounded like the Dragonlord mumbling. His heart started thumping in his chest and he found it hard to make out what was being said. Then he heard a second voice, a female one and it stopped cold.

"Two of them," he whispered. "I don't know if I could fight off the Dragonlord, but I definitely couldn't get away from two with my body ..." He gulped. "What if there's more inside? What if there's a gang of them waiting to rape me?" He backed away from the door. "I bet the woman was Cernozura and I bet Ruwalk's there too. And Tetheus!" He ran off.

Racing pell mell through the passageways of the ancient castle, Rune barely looked up from the narrow patch of ground in front of him. He skidded around a corner, corrected his balance and crashed into Cesia, the sweet-tempered fortune-teller that Rath always gave out about.

"Cesia! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" babbled Rune, clambering to his feet. He reached out a hand to help her up and was surprised when she clamped onto it with an iron grip.

"Rune," she said. Somehow the fortune-teller had gained a dark and forbidding aura. "I've been looking for you."

Rune noticed that her jet black dress emphasised her assets and backed away. "Maybe we can talk later," he mumbled. "I've had a stressful day and I need to rest right now."

Cesia held on and was pulled along with him. "No, Rune. We need to talk now."

"Argh!" he screamed, lashing out with a weak punch. She let go and he stared at her. "I hit a girl," he muttered, before turning tail.

Gathering her skirts, Cesia gave chase.

Rune was much faster than Cesia, yet somehow she never lost sight of him. Every time Rune ducked down a corridor, or into a secluded room, he screamed and ran back out again, followed by confused yelps and on one occasion a disgruntled Dragon Fighter with tousled hair and no shirt. He also blundered into dead ends and tripped at least once on every set of stairs. His squeals and gestures became ever more frantic as the pursuit wore on.

He ran out of room when he breached the attic. Only one set of stairs led into it and although it was a maze of boxes, they were only piled chest high. Rune glanced around the room, his head twitching back and forth, desperately hoping to see a hidden door, or hole in the floor caused by a previous pursuit, but there was nothing. The sound of footsteps came up through the door. Rune squeaked and fled into the maze.

"Of course," he whispered. "There's a huge amount of boxes blocking me from her. All I have to do is circle around her and flee back down the stairs. If I'm quiet enough, she'll spend an hour searching this attic while I find a hidey-hole."

That was when Rune spied a case big enough to hold him. It creaked when he opened it, but luckily, it was empty. Rune heard the doorknob turn and flopped into the case, pulling the lid down on top of him. It was dark and it was smelly, but it was safe.

After what must have been a good five minutes, Rune couldn't take the pressure and decided to sneak a peak out of the case. He pushed against the lid, but it stayed closed. He flexed his muscles and tried again, but still failed. His heart-rate shot back up. 

"Water?" he whispered, feeling at his clothing. "Damn, I left my sword behind. Of course, why would I need it in the DRAGON CASTLE!"

He fumbled, feeling around in the dark, trying to find the catch on the lock that would free him and thought that he'd succeeded, when he heard a click and air rushed in. The smile faded, when long, wavy hair fell onto his face. He looked up to see Cesia, glaring at him.

"Rune," she said. "I'm a fortune-teller. I knew where you were hiding as soon as I walked into the room. You can't hide from me."

She backed away and let him emerge from the case.

"C-C-C-Cesia," he stuttered. "I-I-I don't think of you that way. I..."

"Rune," she said, coldly. "Shut up before you make a fool of yourself. If that chest wasn't sound-proof I wouldn't have to repeat myself and that makes me grumpy."

Rune clambered out, closed the chest and sat on top of it. Cesia remained several feet away.

"I've been away on business and only just come back," she said. "I started to do auguries for the Dragonlord, when I got nearby and the results were disturbing. They all showed that there was something terrible affecting the castle."

"I know!" squealed Rune, suddenly smiling. "Everyone's been acting oddly, all loved up or something and they've been throwing themselves at me."

"Throwing themselves at you?" Cesia asked, her eyes widening.

"Yes!" exclaimed Rune, counting them off on his fingers. "Rath, well, not Rath, but possibly Thatz and Tetheus, probably Ruwalk, definitely Cernozura and scariest of all was the Dragonlord." He shook his head and sighed. "It makes me very uncomfortable and I thought that you were affected, but you're not, are you?" he asked, tensing up again.

"I'm not affected," stated Cesia, "But I think that there's something you ought to know."

She peered closely at Rune and he started to sweat.

"What, do you know what's happening?" he replied, leaning closer, despite his previous fear.

She leaned back in and whispered to him. "I did a final augury when I got to my room. There's been a spell cast on the castle and Rune, you're the cause!"

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What's she talking about? Is this just a plot by Cesia to get with Rune? Review, that includes you anonymous guys and you may get a final chapter. 


	3. Chapter 3

This one's for Otal the Fox, Hyper Girl of DOOM and alpha2nd. Final Chapter!

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"Cesia! What do you mean that I've cast a spell on the Dragon Castle?" shouted Rune.

"Rune, calm down," intoned Cesia, a profound frown on her face.

"No! That's ridiculours," yelled Rune, fidgeting and twitching, hopping from one foot to the other and generally acting as though an electric current was frying his body. "What do you mean?"

Cesia slapped him across the face and pushed him down easily.

"I'm sorry," she said kindly, "but I've had a rough day. I don't like running around castles after hysterical elves."

"I'm sorry too," mumbled Rune, rubbing his cheek. "I shouldn't have hit you earlier. I can't apologise enough."

"That doesn't concern me as much as this spell." Cesia knelt down beside Rune and pleaded with him. "Do you have any idea of what might have caused it?"

Rune shook his head.

"In that case, we'll have to round everyone up and try to get them to figure it out," she said, standing, then brushing the dust off her skirt.

"Are you mad?" asked Rune, his eyes bulging out. "They'll go for me. It's not safe."

"Rune," sighed Cesia. "I don't think you have a problem. In your state, you couldn't fight anyone off, so if they really wanted you, they'd have you right now."

It took a lot more coaxing to get Rune out of the attic. He clung to the wall and started every time they met anyone, or a door opened, or he heard a loud noise, but once they'd reached the great hall and no-one had attempted to ravish him, he calmed down.

"Err, what now?" he asked.

"We need to round everyone up. Where's the Dragonlord?" Cesia asked.

"He's in my room, but I don't think we want to go in there."

"Why not?"

"He's naked... and he's not alone."

Cesia looked at Rune and Rune looked at Cesia.

"How do you..." She gestured rather than finish the sentence.

"I was going there to lie down, when I saw him sneak in," Rune replied.

"I'll knock."

They made their way to Rune's room, although they went by the longest route and Cesia had to cough three times before she managed to knock on the door. The door was flung open by Lykouleon. He wasn't wearing a thong, but he did have a pillow covering his modesty.

"Yes?" he barked.

"My Lord." Cesia blushed, then tried again. "I bring dire tidings."

"Dire tidings right now, or dire tidings that can hold on for another hour or two?"

"There's been a spell cast on the castle and it's a strong one."

Lykouleon groaned. "Right-now, dire tidings it is then." He hit the wall with his fist. "I'll be out in a minute."

He walked back inside and closed the door. Cesia and Rune heard mutterings coming from inside, then a high-pitched squeal. There was more muttering and then Lykouleon walked out the door, buttoning up his shirt. Raseleane ran after him. She wasn't so modest.

"No! No! No! Get back in there, I'm not finished yet," she cried, pointing back into the room. Rune spun away from her, but Lykouleon kept on walking. "Lykouleon?"

The Dragonlord swiveled and kissed her on the lips. "I won't be long, Sweetie. Go back inside and wait for me and I promise that I'll make it up to you."

"You better," she said, glaring at him. "The longer you're away, the more time I have to think of ways to make you prove you love to me." With that, she marched back into the room. When he heard the door slam, Rune's shoulders slumped and he looked back at it.

"But that's my room," he mumbled.

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Lykouleon was far more helpful than Rune at ferreting out the others. He found Ruwalk and Cernozura enjoying a picnic at the lawn, although both of them shot daggers at the party for breaking them apart. Alfeegi and Tetheus were harder to find and they'd run into both Rath and Thatz before cornering them by the duck pond. They were in the middle of a somewhat heated argument, or so it seemed. Alfeegi had turned an odd colour, but Tetheus looked the same as always. He winked at Rune as he approached.

"Something is wrong!" shouted Lykouleon. 

Everyone stared at him. "Well, the rest could be explained away, some sort of coincidence, but now I'm certain, something has happened to the Castle. Cesia, what is it?"

He faced the fortuneteller and she spread her shawl on the ground before sitting on it and pulling out her crystal ball. She leaned back, electricity crackled in her hair, the ball lifted and she sighed.

"There's a strong spell in the air and it's all centered on Rune."

Everyone stared at Rune. He backed away, raising his hands to fend them off.

"It couldn't be me. I haven't done anything." 

Everyone stared at Cesia.

"It's definitely Rune."

They stared at him again.

"Look," said Lykouleon. "What have you been doing since... when did it start, Cesia?"

Electricity crackled. "It's been building for a while, but the spell was cast earlier today."

"Okay," said Lykouleon, returning to Rune. "What have you done today?"

"I was just walking, in the gardens," said Rune, defensively. "That's all."

"When did you notice people acting strangely?" asked Cesia, the ball still floating in the air. She grabbed it quickly and put it down.

"Shortly after." He blushed. "I saw Rath..."

Rath glared at Rune, then blushed when he caught Cesia looking at him.

"So what were you feeling, when you were walking in the garden?" asked Lykouleon.

"I was just a little sad," replied Rune.

"Sad why?" snapped Ruwalk, glancing back to his picnic spot and waving at Cernozura who glared at him in return.

"I..." started Rune.

"You?" prompted Alfeegi.

"I just wondered why I'm all alone," he replied.

Tetheus smiled, Ruwalk shivered and Thatz pried further. "You're all alone?"

"I don't have a girl-friend!" shouted Rune. "I wondered why no-one wanted to go out with me."

Rath shared a smirk with Thatz. "I thought that you did have a girlfriend," he said slyly.

"Yeah," said Thatz. "Isn't she asleep somewhere, in some place that you can't reach or explain properly?"

Rune went very quiet.

"Rune?" prompted Rath.

"Yeah," mumbled Rune. "I do... I did... We broke up."

"Your sleeping girlfriend who loves you soooooooo much... broke up with you?" sang Thatz.

Rune looked away. Thatz and Rath burst into laughter. Ruwalk crossed his arms and tapped his foot. Tetheus perked up and Lykouleon sighed.

"It's obvious what we need to do." He patted Cesia on the head. "You need a girlfriend. Cesia, my dear, you'll have to do it."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Rath. He ran up to her and through his arms around her. "Rune can't have her! No way!"

Cesia flinched at the embrace, before reaching out a hand and stroking Rath on the back. Lykouleon sighed again. "All right then, Cer.."

Ruwalk kicked him.

"Ki..."

Thatz kicked him. "Sorry, my Lord.

"Then the rest of us are going to have to draw straws." He reached into a pocket and pulled out three sticks of different lengths. He turned away and mixed them up, then presented his closed fist to Alfeegi.

Alfeegi reached in and pulled out a stick. "Do I win?" he asked, coldly.

Lykouleon ignored him and moved onto Tetheus. "You next and I'll take the one that's left over."

"My Lord," said Tetheus, with a cough. "You're married."

"I'll pick for Kai-Stern," he replied. 

Tetheus grumbled, but took a straw and then the three pickers went into a huddle and compared straws. Eventually Tetheus shrugged, said "He'll never know," and grabbed Alfeegi's straw.

They broke and rejoined the main group.

Lykouleon frowned. "If things don't improve, then you'll have to go the whole way..." Rune squealed "...but hopefully dinner and a play will be romantic enough to cancel the spell and return the grounds to normal."

Alfeegi nodded, then Tetheus swept Rune off his feet and waltzed out of sight.

"Whatever," said the Dragonlord. "Rune's not going to need his room tonight, so don't call me again unless the castle catches fire."

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That's it. Reviewing won't get you any more, but it'd be nice to know what you thought of it.


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